Selfish white woman Prayer

Masked Girl

I am a selfish, deluded white woman.

I thought, as a child of the sixties, we'd have it all figured out by now.

I thought all racists lived below the Mason-Dixon line.

I thought I wasn't a racist.

I believed the police were mean to everyone equally.

I believed Black people could improve their lot if they tried.

I believed being a woman and queer allowed me to understand the Black struggle.

I was blind to the signs of trauma blatant in every African American's face.

I was blind to my family's forced holding and brutalization of stolen people.

I was blind to my own complicity in a racist nation.

I am still found safe in my comfort zone more often than not.

I am still pushing in to my discomfort at my chosen pace.

I am still exercising white-privilege daily, knowing and unknowing.

I've been told, if I don't do it for myself, I won't last.

I've been told, "don't save us, fix yourselves."

I've been told, if I'm not acting against the system, I'm supporting it.

Here is my selfish white woman prayer:

I pray I have the courage to show up day after day for my brothers and sisters, cousins and friends;

The courage to face the justified anger and grief of fellow Americans.

The courage to speak the truth to uneducated, bigoted, angry, afraid white people.

The courage to face my own hopelessness and fear.

The courage to step out of my comfort zone in small and big ways everyday.

I pray, as long as I have privilege, I use it for justice and compassion.

I pray I can eradicate the racism in my own family, seven generations forward and back.

I pray I live to see reparations on a national scale.

I pray I am a safe haven and a worthy friend to those who've learned to not trust white people.

I pray I am enough to change the world

Here is my selfish white woman prayer